Senior Citizen’s Prayer 
Lord, you know better than I
that I am getting older day by day,
and one day I shall be old.
Lead me not into temptation
to interfere in other people’s affairs.
Teach me to be reflective but not obsessive,
helpful but not dictatorial.
I’m so sorry that I am unable to pass on
the immense wisdom acquired over many years,
but you understand, Lord,
that I would like to keep a few friends.
Teach me to keep any illnesses
and aches and pains to myself;
they are on the increase and the desire
to talk about them grows from year to year.
Grant me the gift of listening to stories
of other people’s illnesses
and teach me to bear them with patience.
Lord, I do not dare to ask you for a better memory –
just to be more humble and somewhat less dogmatic
when my memory does not agree with that of others.
Teach me the wonderful wisdom that I can be wrong.
Help me to stay as likeable as possible.
I know I am no saint –
but a grumpy old man
is the work of the Devil.
Teach me to recognize unexpected
talents in other people, and grant me, oh Lord,
the gift of giving compliments.
Read and illustrated by John Tordoff.
If you’ve enjoyed this one, click here to see the whole anthology.